Dice Cakes!!!

If you forgot to celebrate President's Day, celebrate it now.....with a cup of Jeff and Mike. Wow, that's some cheese.

Episode 3 Part 3!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!

Episode 3 Part 2!

Cup of Jeff and Mike - Episode 3!

Do you ever go to church? Do you hate yourself? Do you know who first hosted American Gladiator? These are just some of the pertinent questions addressed but never answered on Cup of Jeff And Mike. Well, Biff answers the questions. He's our producer. He's like that guy that they always point to off-camera on those talkie shows. Welcome to another episode. Clean up on aisle 3 Part 1.

Cup of Jeff and Mike (2nd Episode!)

We're at it again. This may just be a regular thing so prepare yourself. Special guest: Justine Bieber. To be confused with Justin Bieber. Please be confused.

Cup of Jeff and Mike (Pilot!)

The pilot episode of Cup of Jeff and Mike--our new cutting edge talk show. Hoda better hold onto her chardonnay....

Cabin Fever and The Ice Cold Walk

I am unemployed and it's maddening. In this winter of 2011 in NYC, if you're unemployed, I think it's a forgone conclusion that you are mad, or maddening. Cabin fever is a disease for the unemployed. When you don't have a place to be from 9:00-5:00, you go mad in this weather. It's no wonder people put on weight in the winter. All there is to do is eat. And if you're lucky, f*^k. Eat and f*^k and work. Rinse and repeat. Warm weather at least provides the illusion that we are doing something else, something "active" (buzz word!). More importantly, we don't second guess our whims when it's warm. We don't shoot down our impulses to run across town for a drink or read a book in the park. Then again, these impulses are far fewer in the winter anyway. If I was still getting the impulse to go read a book in the park when it's 20 degrees out, then I need to be rewired, right? But to have that "active" voice hibernating for 5 months is dangerous. Being outside allows us to enjoy the illusion that we are moving forward. It is hard to be walking somewhere and not feel a sense of purpose, which seems to be what we desire, even if that purpose is crazy stressful. We will take a crazy stressfull walk over cabin fever anyday--when boredom has crossed over from tolerable to borderline manic.

Maybe I do need to be rewired. My "active" voice spoke to me today; today, the day of wind chill in the negatives and cabin fever at its hottest. I had the impulse to walk. I was inclined to face the elements for, believe it or not, my health. "Where are you going?" asked my roomie. "For a walk." "No you're not" he stamped. "Yeah, actually I am." I bundled up, but wasn't overly concerned with how I did it. I usually am very picky in the process: shirts must be tucked in a certain way, no skin exposed, must be wearing x-number of layers and of a certain fabric mixture. Today, it was of secondary concern. First concern: get the hell outside and outta my apartment. My active brain would have no more tv, no more surfing, no more Facebook, no more fridge, no more talking to myself. It demanded I see the world.

And it was a welcome improvement. My mind was moving forward again which is a coveted thing in this world, even if it was toward no end. I was moving forward and even the ice on my face was tolerable and lended an "edge" to what I do. What did I do? I walked to Ditmars Blvd.--took the long way--and decided to faux shop...at Key Foods. Want a way to satisfy your cabin fever madness cravings? Faux shop at a grocery store. Grab a basket, leisurely walk about, and throw everything you crave/desire/need into the basket, no freakin questions asked. I left reason outside in the freezing temps. I "settled" on some ice cream, caramel rice cakes (love em), gummie bears, Klondike Bars (I would do a lot for them), and some dark chocolate. Oh, and a Brillo pad. My faux shopping took a good hour--it was essentially a meditation. I'd just gaze at the candy wall, imagining my experience with each one of those wonderful creations, and then move on. It was almost as good as physically ingesting everything in the aisle. It was magic.

My meditation complete, I headed to the checkout line. I wish I were a zen master. I wish I were infallible. I wish I didn't actually purchase all my indulgences--though I put the ice cream aside; decided it redundant with the Klondike bars. I told myself that whether or not I actually paid for that stuff and whether or not I intended to eat all that stuff was irrelevant. My shopping experience was a game. I was window shopping. It felt good. I was amidst people. And candies. It felt good. Exercising my preference, and excercising my active mind. It all felt good.

My walk home was of the stressfull kind, i.e. it's freezing outside and I have so many things to eat! Get me home! The zen of the initial cold walk had left me. I returned home and unwrapped my goodies and dove-in, to prevent the oncoming and inevitable cabin fever once again. I delayed it's onslaught in Klondike bars and gummy bears and for the time being, it seemed I had delayed the fever for good. But the toilet, 30 minutes later, deemed otherwise.

Happy hunting.

-- JEFF