Exterior, day - Highway somewhere in Wisconsin. A 2002 Hyundai Accent flys down the road. It's actually an undercover cop car. Jeff--50's, graying--speaks in a barely audible voice over:
It's hot. Too hot. No air conditioning in this damn car.
"Yeah there is."
Damn it, Mike. Don't turn it on. Not yet. Doing 60 in a 75. A 1996 Ford Mercury flanking us on the right. We change lanes. Gotta stay ahead of this damn Ford Mercury. Why? I don't know. Just feels right. The old school conversion van in front of us is making a run for it. Not so fast mothaf#$&^@. With no cruise control to speak of, our car jumps forward.
"Sorry."
Damn it, Mike. We can't draw attention. Can't let the conversion van know we don't got no damn cruise control. Have to keep the mental edge.
Sign says 'no U-turns.' I don't believe it.
"Make a U-turn!"
"What? Why?"
"JUST DO IT!"
"No."
He won't do it. Fine. We'll just commandeer this 8-wheeler roaring past us. Just another day in the life of an undercover road cop. A woman once called me a vigilante. I told her she was pretty hair. I meant to say she has pretty hair. It didn't end well.
Suddenly, I feel bored. The wind has been sucked from my sails. Where'd the edge go? I hear faintly:
"Well, when I was writing 'Hot Fuzz...'
Has it all been a dream? Is my life one big rouse? Things I will never know...
Then Mike reaches for the radio and switches to the "Broadway" station. Damn it.
Exterior, day - Highway, somewhere in Wisconsin. Jeff--30's, fabulous--cracks open a Fanta. In a voice over:
Life on the road is super fierce. I'm super serious.
Serious radio is super serious.
Where the fierce are we?
But seriously, Sirius radio is super serious. Especially when you have road rage.
-- JEFF
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