To Look, Or Not to Look

Let's talk a little more about pee.

I've been using many a public restroom on this trip and have some more bones to pick.

The big question: is it kosher to look at your evacuation as you evacuate ?  Or are you supposed to stare at the tile wall?  This becomes monumentally more important when someone is at the urinal next to you, when your evacuation is only inches from his evacuation.

I notice that I do a combination of both.  I unzip, then monitor the situation as if it needs monitoring, then move to the tile inches from my face.  I am uncomfortably aware of the dude next to me, who is probably going through the same mental conundrum that I am: to look, or not to look.

When I move my eyes to the wall, I find temporary relief from the awkwardness of it all.  I think the dude next to me feels the same.  But that relief is only short-lived, because then we both become aware that we are staring at f@#$ing tile and doing this only to cover up our insecurities about the whole thing.

You might think that bathrooms--(I think "bathroom" is the more appropriate term given that, as I've pointed out here, there is no rest to be had in these rooms and that one is more likely to bathe their child in the sink or something)--you might think that the bathrooms with the little dividers in between that create 'mini' stalls would be of comfort, but they are not.  You can see over them.  And I'm not tall.  THIS is when looking down and carefully monitoring your evacuation seems to be the better choice, because looking at the tile gives you access to your neighbors evacuation in your peripheral vision.  And now, thanks to the dividers, his evacuation is perfectly framed in your periphery.  This whole damn conundrum comes down to the curse of peripheral vision.

Solution: close your eyes when you evacuate.  And sing yourself a quiet song.

Then again, maybe it's all in my head...

-- JEFF