Younger Than Springs Time

“Ditch the glitter and the glam…..this drag race is not for you.”

It was hard to hear, but Gumdrop Smiles (my drag mother) was right.  I packed my bag, snorted my last disco ball, said my farewells to the mighty Pacific and headed east in search of my travel buddy.

What the hell was the name of that place we had passed through in Colorado?  We had mentioned stopping by for a night….God, what was it called??  ORVIS HOT SPRINGS in Ridgway, Colorado…..I will wait for him there.

I hitched a ride out east with my buddy Sherlock Homo and jumped out of his/her Chevy pickup at the first sight of the sign….ORVIS HOT SPRINGS

I was greeted by a beefy woman named Skyy, whose hair floweth from every direction and into my heart.  She took my hand and I couldn’t help but notice the softness of her touch.  She handed me a towel, showed me my quarters, and took my clothes to be put away in a safe place until my eventual exit.  Clothing was optional, serenity was not.

I cannot recall the capacity of time that I spent in the springs.  The springs believe that time is a manmade construct and emotional flows will let us know when we are to move on.  I knew I must at least wait for my travel buddy Jeff….he would arrive.  The springs teaches us that vibrations of positive and exact thoughts will breed positive and exact results.  During my stay, I dipped in and out of every pond available…..literally and figuratively.  The springs break down the inhibiting sexual construct and labels imposed by a dry society.   I took a lover….or several…and the two of us/several of us lived in unequivocal bliss for what seemed like a lifetime but in Non-Springs Time, or NST as we liked to call it, twas more like 3 or 4 days.  

After an elaborate love-making session involving a waterfall, seaweed, and an elder he/she (you can never tell what parts you’re working with at that age) I had found myself in the kitchen to cut a piece of communal watermelon.  I was startled to find a clothed, dark shadow in the dimly lit cucina, but offered the comrade a freshly cut slice…as the springs have taught me to share my mind, body, soul, and summer fruits.  As I handed him a slice, he stepped into the light….could it be??? Was it really him?? Had he remembered? 

It was none other than JEFFREY COLEMAN BLIM!

I reached out my soft hand and showed my spiritual travel brother my new home and how I obtained a renewed sense of self…..sadly,  I knew that the time had come to depart the springs and utilize my newly acquired tools to succeed in this clothed, arid, societal structure we have been calling life.

On the car ride to Telluride, Colorado (up the street) I had to pull over because I think those mother f’ers tried to poison me with their damn lithium….no wonder everyone is naked and shit….they high as kites.   My clothes have remained on, but at least I’m hitting the road with jeff and mike once again.