I is sorry.

So I clearly missed Friday’s Oprah. I know that you the viewers were extremely concerned about the lack of post, but more importantly you were concerned about my relapse in life lessons. Thank you for your concern. I did however travel back to long island this weekend and used the same car from the roadtrip. Jeff was not with me, which was weird, but I ate a Wendarby (see video below) in his memory and got through the trip with another old friend…..Gayle King from Gayle’s World on The Oprah Network (Channel 156 on XM Radio). Things that I learned:

-Gayle is untalented
-Gayle is inarticulate
-Gayle is the president of the lucky club
-My new life goal is to be Oprah’s BFF/GF

With that out of the way and your acceptance of my apology, we can move the blog and my personal journey forward to Monday’s Oprah. Seriously, is she just on an odyssey to make me cry for the entire season? All I’m saying is that Wendy Williams has been really tempting recently to steal my ratings. She had on Carrie Ann Inaba from Dancing with the Stars and a 12 year old chef. I’m just sayin. Not like Ms. O who showed us how our education system is killing us softly and we will soon be dead and glaciers will flood our future schools. Wait…I think I might have misunderstood that last part. She had the director of “An Inconvenient Truth” and this new education expose documentary “Waiting for Superman” on this episode. I think they are different movies.

Anyway, I learned a lot of things about public schools today and inevitably, myself:

- Oprah is loving purple this season, head to toe eggplant with the lipstick to match. Very flattering top but the bottom half was hugging and tugging and was not a great representation of Gayle’s favorite workspace.
- I am automatically moved by a tearful, African American child with perfectly spaced cornrows.
- Bill Gates is indeed NOT Frank Purdue despite the striking resemblance.
- Oprah just gave an Academy Award to this movie. She can do that. She picked our president.
- Beware of an Asian Chancellor of Schools…she will cut you.
- John Legend is a smartie pants.
- Oprah is trying to break me down by the end of this 25th year

So many lessons learned. I became slightly worried that the entire season would be a little too empowering and eye opening. That was until the previews for tomorrow’s show revealed a special guest that is way more important, influential, and current than the education system, bill gates, or social issues will ever be: One word. LIZA.

Sequin top.
Vibrato wider than a truck.
Everyone’s favorite red-faced booze bag.

LIZA on OPRAH. Don’t worry Gayle…I just meant she was on the show.

Off to rest up for the big show.

-MIKE